Question: I recently received an invitation to my co-worker’s baby shower. The next day I was at work and overheard another co-worker, who will be hosting the party, talking about trying to find a good deal on the alcohol she was going to serve at the shower. I thought, really? I have never heard of alcohol being served at a baby shower. Do you think that is tacky? I’m not sure how I feel about it or about attending so another opinion would be helpful.

Questioning invite

Answer: There are very few people who would say getting sloppy drunk at a baby shower is appropriate and there are very few who would say serving a glass of wine or champagne at a shower, since most of them are brunches, would be inappropriate. I agree with the majority who say that most everything is okay if done in moderation, including moderation.

In other words, it is not healthy or good to remain moderate for the sake of being moderate when you have a strong conviction one way or the other because you will be compromising your beliefs. Take time to honestly evaluate your own convictions in order to eliminate any judgmental, non-factual influences and then act in accordance.

Should you find yourself in strong opposition to alcohol being served at the shower or unable to support it with a good attitude, do not attend because when you bring hostility or a bad attitude to the party you put an unnecessary and undeserved damper on the mom-to-be’s party.

Give the mother her gift prior to the shower and let her know you are sorry you will not be able to attend. You do not have to give reason for your decision. Do not, however, make up a false excuse for not attending. It is possible to leave out specifics without lying. If you decide you can support the event and be happy to do so, go and enjoy the time of fellowship with your co-workers.

If your convictions remain uncertain, consider a few additional factors. Are the people you have to work with everyday going to make your work life uncomfortable and more difficult if you don’t attend? Will they be talking behind your back or acting vengeful because your no-show hurt their feelings? Is the shower, based upon what you are hearing around the office, going to be one in which a casual drink will be enjoyed responsibly rather than a drunk fest? If you answered yes to these questions, you should consider attending in order to make your life easier and to keep yourself from coming across as unnecessarily judgmental. Obviously the mom-to-be approves of alcohol being served or I am sure it wouldn’t be. This event is all about her anyway. If you are still undecided, knowing she is comfortable with the presence of alcohol at her shower should help you feel comfortable with attending.

Keep judgment out of the equation. Do what is best for you, the mom-to-be, and her unborn blessing. Do not base your decision and actions solely upon pressure from your co-workers. Cheers!