Disillusioned
Published 8:35 am Wednesday, June 16, 2010
You probably know this gal. Cindy is her name, or “Cin” for short.
Her great-great-grandfather was a blacksmith, the last name shortened to Smith later. The middle name of “Eunice” was added out of fondness for a great aunt.
Cindy Eunice Smith, or “Cin,” had quite the imagination for an 8-year-old. Her starry green eyes seemed to gaze into the distance and ponder the possibilities. They envisioned a world of colors and rainbows and flowers always blooming.
Of laughter and lacy dresses and endless play. Of adventure and Prince Charming and damsels in distress. Of the whole world being a playground of discovery. Cin lay her head down at night enraptured by the day’s activities and what tomorrow might bring. Life was mesmerizing.
At 13 she was not invited to a friend’s birthday party, and her eyes lost a little of their luster.
She fell in love with Ricky Hayworth at 15. At 16, Ricky left her for Mary Ann, and Cin learned to guard her feelings. She lost a little more of her twinkle.
At 17 she didn’t make the cheering squad, her favorite aunt and uncle divorced, and battles with her parents increased considerably.
Nineteen saw college. It proved difficult in many ways, though she did make some friends.
Upon graduation, she settled for a job nowhere near the position she had envisioned and settled into a town that was disappointing.
Watching her friends marry and tired of being a perpetual bridesmaid, she “settled” for one Harry Jamerson Cull. He adored her and sought to make her life blissful.
It proved difficult. Perhaps impossible. It seemed he could never measure up, and her criticisms broadened their relational gap such that today — though you’d never know it in public — they live separate lives.
A conversation with Cin is about life’s shortcomings and the world as a place of despair. Of poor government, poor schools and times getting worse. Of inconsiderate people and disrespectful children.
People driving too fast, too slow and too much. Of how much better things used to be and not telling where it will all end up.
Why, her children have adopted the same tone. Isn’t it amazing how children do that?
It’s my guess she probably lives close to you. Or at least in your neighborhood. I dare say your paths cross quite often, she being such a popular character. The name, again, you say? It was Cin E. Cull. Tell her I said hello.