Crystal ball
Published 7:50 am Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Permit me to offer a few predictions. Within the next 12 months I venture that some of you
Will watch a child take his first step
Will start walking with a cane
Will go on a diet and lose 24 pounds
Will gain 24 pounds
Will receive a paycheck of a different origin
Will, having dropped your child off at college, weep for 30 miles. And again upon arriving home
Will discover a new way to love your spouse
Will consider an affair
Will consummate an affair
Will become disillusioned at the outcome of an affair
Will wonder why you ever considered an affair
Will step on a snake
Will start snoring
Will discover God
Will dream of adulthood
Will yearn for youth
Will touch your lips to those of a boy for the first time
Will gain a mortgage
Will lose a driver’s license
Will reflect on an old love
Will get underpaid
Will get overdrawn
Will obtain braces
Will be fitted for dentures
Will purchase a crib
Will choose a burial plot
Will no longer be reading this column