Tip o’ the hat to the brave

Adventurers in our past

Who traveled to the distant shores

For gold and alabast.

Columbus, Cortez

And all those glory bound

Have my great respect

For the treasures they found.

But sitting here on my porch

(though thankful for them all)

I’m ’specially fond of the one

Who discovered alcohol.

Now wait, my friend,

Please give me time to ‘laborate my views,

Don’t crumple up and cast aside this Tidewater News.

I stand in the midst

Of good company, I contend,

For stomach ailments,

What did ’postle Paul recommend?

And what about that wedding

That was headed t’ward disorder?

Do you remember who it was

Created wine from water?

Perhaps a more recent chap

Showed such proclivity.

Winston Churchill, so they tell me,

Practiced this activity.

Not to mention, such old friends

(the six of us go way back)

There’s Jack and Jim and Bud and Mic

And Johnny Walker Black.

Some would shout , “Such scandal!

How dare the infidel!”

As the waitress brings another

Glass of Zinfadel.

I beg, my friend, grant me grace,

Don’t cast me off so fast!

I’ll gladly argue until dawn,

But first, would you fill my glass?