Potty time

Published 8:16 am Friday, January 2, 2009

I have heard it said that what you do on the first day of the year will pretty much determine the course of the 364 days that follow.

If that’s true, I’m in deep doo doo — literally.

Our 2-year-old baby has begun his journey to full boyhood. He has officially started toilet training, and he is relishing the task.

Jamie has spent a lot of time and effort trying to peek at his older brother, Charlie, in the bathroom to figure out what he’s doing in there. Now, he’s on to the secret and Jamie is gung ho for getting his own “pie-vetsy,” as Charlie calls it.

So, because my efforts at helping young Jamie learn the art of the potty have been spotty at best, the big plan for my day off this week consists of letting him run naked through the house and following him around with his miniature blue and white plastic throne.

I’ll have plenty of candy on hand, because bribery always works on me. And I’m practicing my cajoling here at work with the reporters (“Please, please, please turn your stories in soon so I can get this page done and go home before midnight. Please.”)

I have songs made up and books about pee and poo ready to read at a moment’s notice.

I even have a DVD of Elmo talking about how he learned to go. Eww.

By the time the day is over and 2009 is off to a roaring start, I plan to have a kid who understands — for the most part — that diapers were so 2008 and potties are the new “it” thing for 2009.

He already knows how to flush, so we’re halfway there already, right?

If it’s fate that what you do on the first day of the year means you are stuck repeating that task for the rest, I guess I’m OK with that.

I’ll be spending time with my little one and he’s pretty cool to hang with. And once he has this potty thing down, it’ll be a lot less messy, too.

Husband, take note, though: Next year I want to spend the first day of the new year buying jewelry on Maui.